Go After What You Want: Chapter One of Main Character Energy
Main Character Energy Podcast: Episode #30 Show Notes
For a long time, I thought I was dreaming big.
I’d say things like, “I want to make consistent 10K months.” And don’t get me wrong, that is a solid goal. But when I look back now, I can see that I was playing it safe. That number wasn’t about my deepest desire. It was the cap I put on myself because I was scared to want more.
I didn’t want to look greedy. Or out of touch. Or worse—fail publicly.
Because if I kept my dreams small, I could avoid the risk of going after them and falling flat on my face. I could avoid being judged. I could avoid facing the truth that maybe I didn’t actually believe I was capable of what I really wanted.
That felt safer.
Until it didn’t.
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The Moment I Realized I Was Playing Small
I was on a strategy call with a burnout coach in 2020. She asked me a simple question: “What are your big goals?” I rattled off a few things—like the 10K months—and she immediately said, “What else?”
What else?
I was completely caught off guard. I didn’t know what to say. Because I hadn’t let myself consider the “what else.” It was safer to stop there. To stay in the realm of acceptable, reasonable goals.
But she was right. I had never allowed myself to truly dream big.
So I sat with that. And when I finally answered, the words came out before I could second-guess them.
“I want to get paid to be myself.”
And there it was. The truth. The kind of truth that felt like a gut punch and a full-body exhale at the same time.
Let Yourself Want What You Actually Want
Since that moment, I’ve done the work to stop censoring myself. I’ve let myself want what I actually want. Not what I think I’m supposed to want. Not what’s marketable or makes sense on a spreadsheet or looks good on Instagram.
What I want is to be real. To be seen. To speak on stages. To write books. To coach incredible humans who are tired of living on autopilot and ready to take their power back. I want to help people get out of their own way and start living in alignment with who they actually are.
I also want a tiny house in the woods and a condo in the city. I want a Netflix comedy special. I want peace. I want adventure. I want both.
You can want both, too.
You’re allowed to want what you want even if it doesn’t fit neatly into a box or make perfect sense to anyone else. Especially if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.
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