10 Tips for Having Difficult Conversations
Having difficult conversations can be daunting and challenging, but they are an important part of building and maintaining healthy relationships (as well as setting and effectively communicating boundaries). In this post, I’ve compiled ten tips for having difficult conversations in a constructive way to help you get started.
^^My game face for helping you prepare to have important discussions.
How to Have a Difficult Conversation
Plan ahead: Don't wing it! Take some time to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. This can help you stay focused and avoid getting sidetracked. (My clients and I like to utilize role playing as a plan-ahead preparation tool to help them practice what they might say and work through the emotions that may come up in the moment.)
Choose a good time and place: Pick a time when you are both calm and can speak privately. Avoid having the conversation in a crowded restaurant or while you're running to catch the bus.
Use "I" statements: Instead of blaming the other person, try to express how their behavior has affected you. For example, instead of saying "You really hurt my feelings," try saying "I felt hurt when you said X."
Listen actively: Pay attention to what the other person is saying and try to understand their perspective. Avoid interrupting or getting defensive.
Stay respectful: Even if you disagree with the other person, try to remain respectful and avoid personal attacks.
Try to find common ground: Look for ways to find common ground and come to a resolution that works for both of you.
Be honest: It's important to be honest and open when having a difficult conversation. Avoid being vague or evasive, as this can only prolong the conversation and make it more difficult to resolve the issue.
Stay on topic: It's natural to get sidetracked during a difficult conversation, but try to stay focused on the issue at hand. If necessary, make a mental note of any related issues that come up and address them at a later time.
Take breaks: If the conversation becomes too heated or emotional, it can be helpful to take a break to regroup. This can give both parties time to cool down and come back to the conversation with a clear mind.
Seek outside help: If you are unable to resolve the issue on your own, it may be helpful to seek the help of a mediator, coach, or counselor. They can provide a neutral perspective and facilitate communication in a way that is respectful and productive.
Remember, the goal of a difficult conversation is not necessarily to solve the problem right away, but to open up lines of communication and start a dialogue. It's completely normal to feel anxious or uncomfortable when having an uncomfortable chat, and with practice and patience, you can learn to have difficult conversations in a way that is respectful and constructive.
Work With Megan
If you’re struggling to have a difficult conversation with a coworker or a loved one, I’m here to support you. Click here to book a 90-minute breakthrough session, where we’ll dive in to the topic(s) of your choice so you can receive specific feedback, coaching, healing, and support on your journey.